


Nobodys Perfect

by Aggressive_Pillow



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: "Shi-" "MADA MADA!", Crack, Don't look at me like that, Genji Shimada is a Little Shit, Genji adoring Zenyatta, Gift Fic, Hanzo pining but blaming Genji, M/M, Shimadas HONOUR, This Is Not Going To Go The Way You Think, This is crack, You Have Been Warned, Zenyatta loving aerobic, hanzo feels betrayed, i've been prompted that, okay, poor boy, typical tuesday
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-11
Updated: 2019-05-11
Packaged: 2020-03-01 05:44:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18794167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aggressive_Pillow/pseuds/Aggressive_Pillow
Summary: He witnessed the start of it. And he should have recognized his impending doom right then. But no, he was a fool and now he would pay for it. Being a Shimada, he would accept his defeat and maintain his honor.But… why aerobics?





	Nobodys Perfect

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Nekenja](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nekenja/gifts).



> This is a gift for the wonderful Nekenja! Thank you for always listening to my rambling.
> 
> So we two got the Idea of Zenyatta the Aerobics guru while being forced to watch such a video during our PE class, because she waved her arms around exactly like him.
> 
> Buckle up losers, this is going to be a pure crack ride.

He witnessed the start of it. And he should have recognized his impending doom right then. But no, he was a fool and now he would pay for it. Being a Shimada, he would accept his defeat and maintain his honor.

But… why aerobics?  
How much bad karma did he collect to deserve this? Or did he simply use every good ounce up by getting to meet McCree? The man he only had one date with yet and could already imagine growing old with him? He seemed so perfect. But this very effective “hot-and-sweet-and-also-a-cowboy-who-never-stops-that-goddamn-smirk” distraction the reason he missed the signs and was now in this futile situation. All his fault.  
Now, he could admit that or blame Genji. The latter seemed like the better option. And it was his brothers fault! Admiring his master Zenyatta and wanting to learn everything from him, he also wanted to try this horrendous activity the monk liked so much. He ended up loving it. And now their apartment was filled with beat-up songs and weird instructor noises all day.

_“And 1, 2,3, step! Do the wounded snake with your arms!”_

He thought that was bad enough already, but apparently it could get WORSE. Because now, Hanzo was standing there in tight leggings and a tank top way too short for his taste. Right in the studio his brother (Mental note: Blame this all on Genji, don’t forget) and his master attended thrice a week.  
“Stop looking so sour, Brother! It’ll be fun!”  
“Our definitions regarding that seem very different, Genji.”  
“Geez, you’re almost as salty as our instructors crush!”  
“I do not understand. I thought he was there to teach you? Or are you having tea and gossip?”  
“Waterbreaks, Hanzo, Waterbreaks! Oh, have I told you this one yet? When he first was like ‘Ohhh, I’ve got a new crush. I swear, never had one like that.’ And an old confused lady asked him what flavor that drink was, he just deadpanned ‘Salty.’”  
Hanzo would forever deny that he snorted at that. He was a Shimada, and they do not snort. They… breath harshly, intimidating the enemy. Or Genji. Or Zenyatta, just arriving. But, despite his flawed taste in sports, the monk was pleasantly company and surprisingly good at keeping his brother in check. So they conversed, and Hanzo was standing with the back to the door when their instructor entered. Fully expecting it to be a weird grammar school teacher of some sorts like the lady in Genjis videos, he didn’t bother to turn around. He heard footsteps approaching him and resisted rolling his eyes. Now that gossip guy wanted to talk to his tea buddy, which was, unfortunately, his brother. Then suddenly, a heavy hand landed on his shoulder.  
“Well damn, sugar. Ya look mighty fine in this clothes. Better in mine, but still.”  
His eyes widened at the voice of Jesse McfuckingCree. He spun around, seeing his hopefully-already-boyfriend dressed in Shorts and a Top not unlike his, though definitely longer. And his cowboy hat, which should definitely not turn Hanzo on as much as it did.  
“Jesse?!”  
“Howdy.”  
he tipped his hat, like this was completely normal.  
“What are you doing here?”  
“I’m your instructor, darlin’. No worries, I’ll make you right worked out.”  
he finished with a wink. But Hanzo was still progressing the first part. Being a Shimada, raised for eloquence and quick thinking, he replied with utter most grace:  
“But… Why?”  
“Well, ownin’ the place shouldn’t keep me from doing some work, right, sweetheart?”  
Hanzo stood there, feeling betrayed once again. From fate, from love, from family. It was not Genji he could blame anymore. He and his taste in men (Still refined, because he is Shimada, duh.) were to fault for this.  
But Genji dying of laughter in the background was definitely not helping.

**Author's Note:**

> Soo crush apparently also translates to a juice mix drink thingy? I had to use that.
> 
> Tell me what you think!


End file.
